death

I have made a bouquet of cream roses that I am going to photograph every day to document the ageing process. I am hoping that it will represent the timeline of life, from something beautiful, a baby, gradually maturing and ageing and then eventually dying.

some initial drawings

are old people really old

I came across another interesting article which relates back to my previous project that ended up being about cells. The body is constantly renewing cells so in actual fact most of your body is only 7-10 years old. I think this is a really interesting fact and makes me think even more about the physical attributes that elderly people have. Their minds may be old, and they may appear and physically act as though they are as old as their mental age, but in fact their body has died and been reborn several times in their lifetime. Cells inside us are constantly dying yet we are completely unaware of it, we are regenerating continuously but for some reason this all stops, and the mind and brain die eventually. There is still massive scientific debate about why this regeneration doesn't continue forever, if they could work this out would it be possible that we could keep living forever....

features

I just came across this image from an article about the problems old people face every day, the article itself wasn't very interesting but this image struck me. Unfortunately I couldn't find the original source but I absolutely love the way the features in his face grab your attention. Talking to Stephen in my portfolio review at the beginning of the term we had a conversation about 'the gaze' and discovered that, whether I meant to or not, the eyes and gaze were always key in my portraits. The expression in my photographs and paintings are always the most important thing to me, I want the audience to look at the image and feel something, or be told something, about the person shown. The fact that the man in this image looks confused and quizzical makes you immediately question the story behind the image and even his past.

When I find an image like this I'm desperate to know more and it really annoys me when I have to guess and can't find out the reason behind the image. I think it will definitely be important to have descriptions next to whatever I present as my final piece as not having an artist's statement was something that let down our final exhibition last year. I'll need to try and get a balance between leaving the audience completely bemused and spoon feeding them with facts.

ben tour

Mike 2008

I stumbled across Ben Tour and really relate to his technique, I love the use of ink and the way that he doesn't have total control over the paint and lines. Obviously the use of drips and splatters is similar to some of my portraits in the Cuban series I did last year.

public help!

I decided that I needed to photograph, photograph, photograph as much as possible and as soon as possible so that I have some images to work from. I sent an email around to some house clearance companies in and around Leeds asking for their help and asking whether it would even be a possibility to photograph these situations.


While I was researching I found out that lots of the companies also do 'trauma' clearing, where they empty the house after there has been a death in the house. I think this would be absolutely fascinating to capture, however it is obviously a very sensitive subject and I think whilst I would be as diplomatic as I could be it would be incredibly difficult to get the permission of the family at such a distressing time.
I got in contact with several companies, Forge Waste, Harrogate House Clearance, FJ House Clearance and Highcliffe House Clearance and got a reply from Harvey at Forge Waste who was so helpful and said he will get in contact with me whenever he gets a booking in for a clearing. ~Unfortunately they don't really know in advance when they will get a job that would be suitable for me to photograph so hopefully if they do it will coincide with when I am available.


I also sent out an email begging for help through lvaf, the Leeds Visual Arts Forum and was really pleased when I got several replies suggesting community centres, churches and relatives who I could contact and see if they would be interested in meeting me and having their portrait done. One of the centres that I am keen to go to as soon as I can is Caring Together in Little London and Kirkgate Studios and Workshops where a lot of retired and older people attend the classes run there.

richard billingham

Untitled 1995

Richard Billingham is a photographer mostly concerned with portraiture. His most famous series of photographs where his parents were the subjects are what caught my eye about him.
His photos are similar to what I want to photograph - people in their natural environment, mostly their home. I want the background to be equally as important as the subjects as it can tell you so much about their personalities - in the same way as when you enter someones house you can get such an accurate feel for who that person is by material things alone.
Another aspect of his work that really inspires me is the vintage look to his photography, it makes it look like there is so much history and so many stories behind a still image of a split second in time. I don't have a camera that will give this effect however have found couple of really useful websites that show you how to get vintage effects and lomo effects using photoshop - which is the route I think I would have to take.


The one aspect of his photographs which I think will be different to mine will be the fact that he was their son so the images produced will be natural and almost uneffected by the fact that a camera would be there. I will need to build up a relationship with the sitter for numerous reasons, mainly so that the photos would be genuine and so that there is a depth behind the image. At the moment I am drawing elderly people from images that I have found online which is fine for developing my skills as a portrait artist, and for getting an idea about composition and materials - but I desperately need to find primary sources of my own to work from.

abandoned

drawing a conclusion

My final year project is a chance for me to explore something that is of great interest to me in an in depth and thorough way, hopefully bringing all my work over the past three years to a conlusion.

My inspiration for this project came from a carboot sale early one Sunday morning. The carboot is a place of constant amusement and deep debate for me and my mum. The range of characters that you get there is hilariously vast and you see people that you would expect to only be imagined by the likes of the Little Britain writers. We would go a couple of a times a year with our boot loaded up with old Barbies and sparlky lights and stand in the cold from 6am. The only reason I would drag my lazy arse out of bed was my pure curiosity about the people I would meet that day, and of course the possibility of making a tenner.
The whole morning would be full of bizarre situations and people, starting with the terrifying people who would practically climb in your car as you pull up, scouting for bargains and long lost treasures to the shout of 'We don't have any gold or jewellery!' from my mum. The day always progresses in a equally unconventional way when people ask if we have any travel books on a specifically remote region in France or you get a man of about sixty strolling past in denim hot pants with matching jacket onto which he's scrawled 'LivaPool' on the back in red marker pen.
I could wander around the field all morning completely infatuated by the range of characters, clothes, accents and personalities that ritually come every week, but the one thing that I never expected to happen was to be completely moved by something that I saw every time we went but never bothered to ask about.
As we were packing up the car, getting ready to leave, I heard a loud smashing and looked round to see a blanket in front of a van with everything from suitcases and books to entire crockery sets strewn across it - anything that could be shifted for a bit of cash. At the end of the blanket two people were ruthlessly chucking piles of china plates and cutlery into black binbags. My immediate thought was 'what are they thinking?! people will buy anything here as long as it's 10p, don't throw it away!' My mum then told me that they were probably all the possessions of someone who had died with no family or people to take care of their stuff so these people turn up in a van and try to sell their whole lives, anything that doesn't get sold gets thrown.
I was shocked that someone could be so alone when they die, that people could be so harsh and brutal with their possessions, and that once everything was in binbags there would be nothing left of the person who used to be.


I want these people to be remembered. I want to know about them. I want to know what you can find out about a person by their possessions. I want to know what they left behind. I want to know the history of old people. I want to know the stories that each wrinkle tells. I want to force people to acknowledge their existence.